So you’ve bought a cheap VPS. It feels powerful, exciting, maybe even a little dangerous. And in just ten minutes, you can bring it to its knees without even trying. Here’s how.

  1. Cheap VPS
    Install every piece of software you can find, all at once, without reading the documentation. Skip all security updates because “reboots are annoying.” Then add five websites, three game servers, and a database to the same tiny plan. Congratulations: your VPS now runs slower than dial-up.
  2. Cheap Linux VPS
    Try the infamous rm -rf / because some stranger on the internet said it “frees space.” Add an iptables rule that blocks your own SSH access. For extra flair, edit fstab incorrectly so your VPS never boots again. That’s Linux power, right?
  3. Cheap Managed Linux VPS
    Ignore every email from your support team. Reset root passwords without telling them, then blame them when things go wrong. Finally, demand that they install obscure software, uninstall it yourself, and then open a ticket asking why it doesn’t work.
  4. Cheap Windows VPS
    Install four browsers, two antivirus programs, and a dozen toolbars. Postpone Windows Updates until the exact moment you need uptime—then watch them all install at once. If you want a true crash course, run a Minecraft server and a SQL database on 1 GB of RAM.
  5. Cheap Container VPS
    Run Docker inside Docker inside Docker until your VPS is a matryoshka doll of confusion. Launch 200 containers at once, each consuming more CPU than your plan could ever offer. Forget networking rules completely, then wonder why nothing connects.
  6. Cheap Storage VPS
    Treat it as your personal Netflix clone, filling it with endless videos until the disk cries for help. Trust it as your only backup, because what could go wrong? Push it to 100% capacity and enjoy the magical moment when your filesystem stops working altogether.

Final Thoughts

Every VPS is breakable—but cheap VPS plans make it especially easy. The difference between “broken” and “reliable” often comes down to how responsibly you use them. But if your goal is chaos in ten minutes or less, you now have the perfect playbook.